So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
