But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
