Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
