Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
