i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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