What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
