butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
