butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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