Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize