also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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