Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize