I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
