writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
