Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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