It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
