You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
its not stalking. its research.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
