ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think my vagina is haunted
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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