Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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