Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
