Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
