if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
