ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
