woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
