i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
