I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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