Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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