whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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