I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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