member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
