I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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