I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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