Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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