how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
