Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
