omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
