no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
