Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
