also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
