Ambien. No doubt about it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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