Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
