A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
