But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
