I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
