i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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