He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
