so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
