I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
