I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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