Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
