I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
