How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
