Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
