I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
