Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
