Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
