dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
smell my finger.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i think i just lost a toe
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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