I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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