i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
