I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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