did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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