K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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