No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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